Here is a link to see a picture of my mom on the book cover. Chuck norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month, they bleed for a week because of it. Chuck norris can cut through a hot knife with butter. When chuck norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital. Chuck norris once pissed in the fuel tank of a semi truck as a joke, that truck is now known as optimus prime chuck norris once made an happy meal cry. Chuck norris jokes have everything that you want from the jokes. Starting june 4, walker, texas ranger airs weekdays from 26 pm et and sundays 510 pm et. The 50 funniest chuck norris jokes of all time chuck norris when i. Mar 10, 2016 in 2007, however, penguin usa collated the best of these chuck norris facts and released a book called the truth about chuck norris. Chuck norris once heard that nothing can kill him, so he tracked down nothing and killed it. Vampires and chuck norris have a symbiotic relationship. Chuck norris can win a staring contest while blinking. We have chuck norris jokes for you that will make it hard for you to control your laughter.
There also is a book called the official chuck norris fact book. Luckily, there are more than enough funny chuck norris jokes or perhaps, chuck norris facts out there. In 2007, however, penguin usa collated the best of these chuck norris facts and released a book called the truth about chuck norris. The 23 most ridiculous chuck norris memes ever blazepress. On november 29, 2007, gotham books, the adult division of penguin usa, released a book entitled the truth about. Chuck norris invented the olympic games in hopes of finding a worthy opponent. Chuck norris fell off his bike once, and the road got chuck rash. Chuck norris biography affair, married, wife, ethnicity. Chuck norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.
Chuck norris doesnt bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint. May 27, 2019 chuck norris my mom was essentially a single mother raising three boys. We all chuck norris as he is the legends and he has shared some of the most amazing jokes. The facts are normally absurd hyperbolic claims about norris toughness, attitude, sophistication, and masculinity chuck norris facts have spread around the world, leading not. When chuck norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways. Jun 09, 2011 i am very excited to announce that my mom s biography acts of kindness is completed. When an episode of walker texas ranger was aired in france, the french surrendered to chuck norris just to be on the safe side. On october 7, 2009, tyndale house publishers issued the official chuck norris fact book.
Chuck norris my mom was essentially a single mother raising three boys. Chuck norris is familiar to fans worldwide as the star of action films such as the hitman 1991, the delta force 1986 and delta force 2. The player takes control of chuck norris himself in a sidescrolling beat em up. See top 10 chuck norris jokes from collection of 2497 jokes rated by visitors. Picture book witches are wandering daddys bedtime stories funny. May 24, 2012 chuck norris s 91year old mother, wilma norris knight, releases her new autobiography 2012, acts of kindness. Chuck norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon. Fans from every corner of the globe will enjoy both the fanciful and inspirational from one of the world. Chuck norris can light a fire by rubbing two icecubes together. Shortly after, in hollywood, norris trained celebrities in. Chuck norris jokes a selection of the best 30 jokes. Updated daily, for more funny memes check our homepage. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
They were married on 28th of november 1998 and have two children, twins dakota alan and danilee kelly born 30 august 2001. Many say these are pure mythology, just fun quips and sayings to make you laugh. Chuck norris and batman once made a bet, they fought, loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants. And other poems by cats gifts for cat lovers, funny cat books for cat lovers by francesco marciuliano aug 15, 2012. Chuck norris 10 facts about the star of walker, texas. Chuck norris knows everything there is to know except for the definition of mercy. When chuck norris was a baby, he didnt suck his mothers breast. Chuck norris can win a game of connect four in only three moves. Chuck norris doesnt mow his lawn, he dares it to grow ive always gotten a kick subtle pun intended out of a good chuck norris. Chuck norriss 91year old mother, wilma norris knight, releases her new autobiography 2012, acts of kindness. His heart isnt nearly foolish enough to attack him. Here are the best new jokes to keep in your back pocket, so you can try to top your friends. When chuck norris talked in class to his friends the teacher apologised for.
Trust me when i say that chuck norris will make you laugh and cry out loud. Chuck norris i am very excited to announce that my moms. As his character walker and trivette are on stake out and trivette is reading a book from chuck noris and chuck noris is. However, there is one person that seems to have taken their reputations and blown them out of the. The book is hilarious, mildly mindless, but lots of funit prompted discussion as to whether chuck had authorized this and how he felt about it, too. After a night of partying, chuck norris doesnt throw up, he throws down. Thats why he is apparently capable of all of the below.
Said to have begun in 2005 on the somethingawful forums and inspired by latenight television host conan obriens run of walker texas ranger jokes, chuck norris jokes are best. He was an executive producer of walker, texas ranger 1993 as well as. Chuck norris dropped the apple on isaac newtons head. Chuck norris facts are satirical factoids about american martial artist and actor chuck norris that have become an internet phenomenon and as a result have become widespread in popular culture. He also starred in missing in action 1984 and its sequels, firewalker 1986 and sidekicks 1992. Chuck norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. Chuck norris a walk in nature is a perfect backdrop to combine exercise, prayer, and meditation while enhancing the benefit of these activities. Heres some of the best chuck norris memes weve collected together. Chuck norris is ten feet tall, weighs twotons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing. Chuck norris does not simply kill you, he kills you until your dead. Also, chuck norris makes fun of shit, and then shit burns itself down. The rest of the book could be funny, but i cant give this to anyone. Previously since 29 th december 1958, chuck was married to dianne holechek.
Funny chuck norris jokes and puns will make you laugh. May 12, 2017 chuck norris destroyed the periodic table, because chuck norris only recognizes the element of surprise. May 01, 2020 luckily, there are more than enough funny chuck norris jokes or perhaps, chuck norris facts out there. Top 30 chuck norris jokes quotes and humor funny jokes, hilarious, funny sayings.
Chuck norris chases sharks when he smells them bleed. Carlos ray chuck norris born march 10, 1940 is an american martial artist, actor, film producer and screenwriter. Chuck norris destroyed the periodic table, because chuck norris only recognizes the element of surprise. Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but chuck norris can kill him and take it. In this video i have chuck norris in the tv series walker texas ranger. While other children were playing in sand, chuck was playing in concrete.
Chuck norris doesnt actually write books, the words assemble. One time chuck norris stubbed his toe on the wall and the wall screamed. See more ideas about chuck norris, chuck norris facts and chuck norris memes. Strongman and cultural icon chuck norris stars in a fantastic number of oneline jokes on the internet, satirical comments on his portrayal of the ideal martial arts master who never loses a fight or drops a punch. Enjoy them and also check out our other funny jokes categories. See more ideas about chuck norris, chuck norris facts and chuck norris funny. May 28, 20 in this video i have chuck norris in the tv series walker texas ranger. Funny chuck norris memes are as indestructible as the man himself. When chuck norris does a push up, he doesnt push himself up, he pushes the world down.
After serving in the united states air force, norris won many martial arts championships and later founded his own discipline, chun kuk do. Chuck norris mom on raising three sons 2012 interview on. When chuck norris plays monopoly, it affects the actual world economy. Hundreds of thousands of humorous chuck norris facts have been. Chuck norris jokes really funny clean jokes and humor. What does chuck norris think about chuck norris jokes. Chuck norris can sneeze with his eyes open and lick his elbow.
Chuck norris once ate an entire ream of rice paper and shat out origami swans and mister miyagi from karate kid. I am very excited to announce that my mom s biography acts of kindness is completed. Ian spector launched the web phenomenon chuck norris. May 09, 20 chuck norris donates blood to the red cross, just not his own. Chuck norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded. In the answer to their last question, he called the chuck norris facts weird but wildly popular sayings and. In 2017, flaregames produced non stop chuck norris, an isometric actionrpg game for mobile devices. When a zombie apocalypse starts, chuck norris doesnt try to survive. Funny chuck norris jokes a man known for his roundhouse kick. For the first time ever, in the official chuck norris fact book, chuck gives readers not only his favorite facts, roundhousekicked by the man himself, but also the stories behind the facts and the code by which chuck lives his life.
Chuck norris facts really funny clean jokes and humor. Chuck norris makes fire by rubbing 2 ice cubes together. Rushmore, but stopped as the granite rock wasnt strong enough. Norris even joined in the fun as cowriter of the official chuck norris fact book, proving that chuck norris can truly do everything. The story of chuck norris and what hes doing now by emily hawthorne october 19, 2019 there have been some pretty tough individuals over the years.
Norris is a black belt in tang soo do, brazilian jiu jitsu and judo. Chuck norris doesnt actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear. It turned out to be that norris was responsible for starting this rumor on his own for attracting more pirates. It is the second game to be based on chuck norris popularity developed by the chuck norris facts. Chuck norris doesnt flush the toilet, he scares the shit out of it. Chuck norris facts are satirical factoids about american martial artist and actor chuck norris.
693 20 1059 1103 627 908 434 1328 3 15 81 651 1063 757 873 842 597 1487 1506 1028 1549 1184 136 591 1175 635 635 46 72 1393 432 953 228 410 1430 776